To be Called by His Name

By no stretch of the imagination, today’s world is full of causes capable of keeping the mind busier than many of us would hope. From politics to social injustices, many of these diversions even present themselves as noble to pursue. And while we are the most equipped of all people to make an impact, able to act not just with our own strength but with the very strength of Christ that works within us, the world still moves further and further from righteousness. In realizing this, we often push a bit harder, rebuke a bit more fervently. We remain undeterred. And for a time, we see victory, but in the end, we seem to lose ground. To this, I write perhaps now it is high time we as believers look inward rather than outward. See, God loves all creatures and creations; we know this love to be unconditional. However, to invoke God in our lives, call upon His many promises, His mighty power, there are conditions that must be met. If what was described before resonated at all, then we certainly should be asking ourselves: are we meeting God’s conditions?

Stopping to consider & reconsider.

God’s word reveals to us many promises, many of which we recite like poetry when times are tough but what we often leave out or fail to consider is the condition that is set before it. Yes, His love is unconditional, but His promises are absolutely conditional. No matter how small the condition. This should not be new news for any of us for the pattern started with Adam in the book of Genesis, reading—

“Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die” (Gen 2:16-17 NKJV).

So, as we live our Christian lives in the pattern of seasons designed by the Most High, when find ourselves in troubling waters that have persisted for what feels like too long, I encourage all of us to yield reflecting on the world and reflect on His word, examining ourselves with all reproach.

“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land” (2 Chr 7:14).

For many of us, the first condition is undeniably easy. “If My people,” we must be his people— John 3:16 being our motto more times than not— and so we jump straight to the promises, unknowingly glossing over the second half of that condition: “who are called by My name”. Notice it does not say “who call themselves by My name”. One might argue semantics, but we know God to be thorough and meticulous and that He means what he says. He is not accidental. In other words, giving pause to examine ourselves, are our lives known for faith? Or are we known for our secular endeavors? How would the nonbelievers in our lives describe us? Do they even know we walk with Christ?

So again, I encourage us to examine ourselves carefully, weighing our lives against the Word God, look for the fruits we ought to be bearing.

“But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithful, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law” (Gal 5:23-23). 

In the places we walk, talk, and in the lives we touch, do we see these fruits (as defined by the Bible) planted? Can nonbelievers as well as believers say these things about us, having no bad words to pit against our character? Consider Titus 2:7-8. Paul writes to the church in Crete telling them in all things to show themselves to be a pattern of good works, and in doctrine, to have integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, so much so that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say about them. And one might be tempted to argue this is specific to church elders, but an important aside taught in Titus is that what is good for the Pastor, is also good for those in attendance.

Conditions are not up for interpretation.

When it comes to circumcising our hearts and examining how we measure to God’s conditions, His standards, we must not consider just actions, but the stewardship our time as well. In Exodus 20:3, God’s people are given the first commandment: “You shall have no other gods before Me.”

The wording of the first commandment implies there will be other gods, and while they are certainly not the one true Living God, they certainly are objects of worship. And so, as Christians we may think to ourselves that we are in the clear. We aren’t praying to some inanimate object, performing rituals in someone else’s name, casting spells, or practicing two religions at once. Although those things may be true, we should not be so hasty. Remember, those commandments were delivered to and for believers. And despite being so near to God in a literal and spiritual sense, the children of Israel still had it in them to dedicate themselves to a foreign god— on more than one occasion.

Let’s make it personal. In the US, our culture does not teach reverence as we might see from our brothers and sisters from other parts of the world. We do, however, uphold the idea of the individual, teaching that time is valuable— that it is money. It is traded, paid for, and regarded as a commodity, sometimes a luxury. Understanding that, if an idol can be defined as an object of passionate devotion, we must then contemplate what worship might look like in our culture. To phrase it plainly, we must also examine where and how we devote the majority of that very commodity we are taught is precious. For many of us, time goes to work, our kids, and trying to stay afloat— things that are by no means inherently evil or wicked, but are we doing these at the expense of our relationship with Christ? When we work, when we tend to our children, when we go about our busy days, are we doing so in gratitude, giving thanks, and making an effort to pray without seizing— that is to take moments to acknowledge and speak with God throughout the day? Or do we find ourselves full of complaints, grumblings, and idle talk? Is God taking a backseat to the life our actions appear to want to live?

A quick way I learned to evaluate my own heart is to ask myself if I had to give up all the things I worked to acquire by order of God, could I do it? Would I hesitate? When giving his sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us—

 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon” (Matt 6:24)—  

“mammon” meaning wealth regarded as an evil influence or false object of worship and devotion.

If, like me, you find one or two, maybe more, things that gave you pause when considering giving up all earthly possessions or found yourself rationalizing that God would never ask such a thing of you— I offer a prayer we might pray:

Father God, forgive me, for in my heart I am not ready to easily part with many of the material things you’ve given me and allowed me to pursue. I do not strive to make them a god before you, but I confess they have taken residence within my heart. I pray Father, that you would teach me to see them as I should see them, regard them as I should regard them and that you would remove all falsehoods and lies far from me. Instill your proverbs of wisdom within me, teaching me to pursue neither wealth nor poverty, and to be content and grateful for what you allot to me. Amen.

But Conditions are to our benefit.

Meeting God’s conditions is crucial to the Christian experience but live a day in today’s world and it is quite simple to see how easily one can unknowingly fail to meet even the first commandment. Thankfully, God, through Jesus Christ, gave us a way to come boldly before him.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). 

Of course, the condition here, much like in 2 Chronicles 7:14, we must confess our sins. We must admit we are wrong. In fact, the verse right before it, 1 John 1:8 reads—

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”

Meeting the condition here sets us free. So, even if some of us right now are deceiving ourselves, let us take to His word for all scripture is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness— but remember, this is written to believers. That is certainly not to say the Bible cannot be used to correct others, in fact it must be used, but it is to be used as a reminder that our correction must come first.

Importance of decreasing so that he may increase.

Yes, the world is in a bad state; in fact, it actively courts sin and death, but this should not be new news for it is the enemies’ domain— but should you be called or compelled to be about the businesses, politics, and debates in the world, when you do, consider 2 Timothy 2:16, 23-26. In these verses, Paul reminds Christians that we should shun profane and idle babblings for they will increase ungodliness, and that we should avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. Paul also notes that a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach with patience and humility. In reading this, please understand. This is not a call to be passive, passive aggressive, or even accepting of sin, but rather a call to be indomitable in the face of the enemy that works in places we cannot see. This posture is meant to help keep us from going astray.

                See, the Holy Spirit does not commandeer our bodies, taking over sensibilities. Whether right or wrong, we very much remain in control of the gifts bestowed upon us for our calling for it is written—

“And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets” (1 Cor 14:32). 

And because these gifts are irrevocable, one can conclude that if we go astray, it can and will be misused. So, while we may see success in the application of our faith— our gifts, we must remain vigilant, reflecting on ourselves before others, working diligently to present ourselves as workers who do not need to be ashamed. And when we reflect, pray, invite the Holy Spirit to show you the true state of your heart setting aside your own expectations so that you may not be deceived in believing your ambitions, wants, or goals are God’s, for we should all know by now that the heart can lead us astray. And as an exercise in reflection, humble and weigh yourself before God’s word, considering James 3:17-18:

“But the wisdom that us from above is pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

Have we seen peace in our life— in those that we influence? Or does the wisdom we so often provide divide and sow discord?

Wisdom for the time we have left.

I write all this not to accuse one brethren over another, but to ask are we really meeting the conditions set by God in order to truly take hold of his promises? To phrase it another way, are we doing what God has purposed and required of us as believers or are we telling God “This is what I will do for you.” No matter the teaching, be wary of the latter. Matthew 7:20-23 depicts how walking a life in such a way is dangerous to our salvation.  Just as important, verse 20, in Christ’s own words, we are to understand His people are known by their fruits. The world can and will be chaotic, but in our life and of those we touch, we should be seeing the very fruits outlined in Galatians 5:22-23.

In verses 21-23 of Matthew 7, we can read that at the time of judgment, there will be those who proclaim Jesus, proclaim to be deserving of salvation by their works, by their own actions. But we know the truth— we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works. Yes, faith without works is dead as written in James 2, but those works have a prerequisite and that is faith as defined by God, not the world, and yes, there most certainly is a difference. Word by word, 2nd Chronicles 7:14 calls out to the “those who are called by My name”. What it does not include are those that call themselves by His name. And one may want to argue semantics, but to that I would remind them God is not accidental, He is purposeful and deliberate, and it was the misapplication of these very ‘semantics’ that cause God to only allow Moses to see the promise land but not enter into it. Knowing this should not scare us but be reason to pause, setting aside our own understanding as His word teaches, so that we may course correct and examine if the world has more claim over our heart or does the world, and more importantly does God, see the Christ in us?                

And so, being keenly aware of our time together and our time before the coming of Christ, I encourage all of us to see that we walk circumspectly, considering the ramifications of thoughts and actions, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil (Eph 5:15-16).

And as you do these things, remember that God has given us authority and stewardship over our blessings of time, resources, and gifts. It may be tempting to spend them freely as we wish, but as children of God we are called to a higher purpose as workers who are to be diligent to present themselves approved to God, as workers who do not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Tim 2:15).

And finally, with a little inspired wisdom from me, brothers and sisters be careful in what you associate your name and blessings with. In whatever you do, know that you should not be some label who happens to be Christian, but always be a Christian who “happens to be”; and whatever those “happens-to-be” are, be sure that they are righteous and pure in nature for God will not bend a knee to anything of this world, and neither should his children.

Mass Effect : Andromeda #001

A lifetime of winter escapes the cryo-pod as the lid pops open. the sounds of thawing ice overwhelms the senses. Cora reaches down to assist the man inside. He coughs and blinks, struggling to sit upright.

“Cora?” His words come with relative difficulty. She helps him out and onto his feet, but still under the aftereffects of cryogenic sleep, he stumbles immediately to a knee. “They thawed you first?”

“No particular order, but the Pathfinder Team’s been given priority from what I hear.”

“No, no, its good they woke you up first—” he leans back into a seated position and waves her hands away to get a moment to recover on his own.

Cora stands off to his side, looming over, with a hand firmly on her hip. “600 hundred years and you still have time to hold a grudge?

Gingerly, the man works his way back to a knee and then finally to a fragile but standing position. “I only speak the truth.”

“Alec picked you reason—”

“Picked us.

“He’s always respected your honesty, Finn, even when it went against what he thought was best.”

Finn places a hand on her shoulder for balance. “We both know the old man prefers you, Harper.” Cora remains silent, merely watching as he hunches over, attempting to keep himself physically composed.

“In any case, we need to be mission-ready within the hour. Are you going to be okay?”

Finn gives a mild thumbs up. Two members of the medical staff approach to properly examine him, forcing Cora to step aside and observe patiently with hands folded behind her back.

“Take a seat, you’ll want to take it easy. Now look this way. And now here.” Finn’s eyes follow the doctor’s fingers. “Finn Evans, First Contact Specialist, Pathfinder Mission Team.” He nods. The doctor checks a few other vitals. “All within acceptable range. That said, I’m concerned about the residual levels of adenosine still in your system.”

“See? I’m fine.” Finn gives Cora an obnoxious grin. The doctor shakes her head but clears him anyway. “How are the Ryders? They thaw—” the floor shakes violently sending many toppling over. Electricity surges, lights flicker and scores of machinery send sparks flying across the Hyperion interior. Within moments, all unmounted objects and organics lift into the air. Cora scrambles to balance out, to find some semblance of equilibrium.

“Gravity’s out!” she reaches to pull Finn her way.

“Get to the Ryder’s!”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine, go!”

In quiet acknowledgement, Cora grabs onto structures and objects to assist in navigating the interior enroute to the next medical bay. Despite the residual adenosine, Finn manages to adjust to the sudden loss of gravity.

“Let me,” he insists, taking hold of the cryo-pod from the doctors and lowering it as close to the floor as possible. As if on cue, the rest of the staff follows suit, first securing any upended pods then collecting less essential equipment. Less oriented members of the staff occupy their efforts with checking on compromised systems of the Hyperion infrastructure. After a series of weightless moments suspended in air, Cora’s voice finally comes through comms warning everyone to prepare for a gravity reset.

Feet, tools, equipment, and bodies clatter to the floor. Finn and most of the medical staff manage to land with relative ease, then spend time put things back in order. Minutes later, Cora’s voice comes through Finn’s private channel.

“Everyone okay?”

“All signs point to it. Find the Ryder twins?”

“I’m with Seryna now, but we may have some complications. Pathfinder is calling for us. Meet you on the bridge?”

“Negative. Go on ahead. I’ll link up with the rest of Pathfinder team and make sure we are good to go.”

There’s a slight pause before her voice comes through again. “Righ— copy that.”

Finn terminates the transmission and heads for the team’s locker room. He nearly bumps into another man upon exiting into the corridor.

“Evans, that you?”

“Greer? Shit, walk with me.” The two men match strides and head to the locker room, traversing exposed wires, screeching terminals, and debris along the way.

“You got any idea what happened?”

“Not a clue; but Harper’s gone ahead. She’ll fill us in soon enough.”

“Shouldn’t that be you?” They stop at a set of doors still under repair. Feeling the undue pressure of two combat-ready men at his back, the engineer works with haste, praying not to make a mistake. “It’s not my place to say, but you put too much on her.”

“Harper’s a big girl, I’m sure she can handle it.”

“Then I’m saying it wrong—” the door slides open with a mechanical hiss. As they pass through, the engineer hunches over, giving an audible sigh of relief. “Pushing off your duties like that— keep that up and she’ll be the successor to the Pathfinder.”

“As it should be. I’m sure the old man would agree.”

“Seryna’s right, you really can be a sour bunch.” Greer stops, letting Finn pass unobstructed into the locker room. Greer opens the first footlocker and pulls out the pieces of his hard suit. “Regardless of what you think, he chose you for a reason.”

“Yeah? Well, when you find that reason, you let me know.” Finn’s voice fades as he rounds the row of footlockers and runs into Fisher and Kirkland who were almost ready to go. The two men stand and the three of them exchange greetings fit for young teenage boys. Kirkland nearly trips over his helmet upon returning to his seat.

“You got any idea of what’s going on out there?”

“Nope!” Greer’s head pops up over the row of footlocker’s between them. “He’s letting Cora do all the driving.” In near perfect unison, Kirkland and Greer laugh through intermittent cat calls. Fisher puts a hand on Finn’s shoulder.

“Don’t let it bother you. Greer’s just mad no one’s been driving him even before we left the milky way.” Everyone but Greer bursts into a hysterical fit of laughter. Embarrassed and out of retorts, Greer vanishes back to his side. “Now let’s get some music going!”

Amidst the laughter and donning of equipment, Cora enters the room. “Harper—” Finn pauses to make sure he appears at least halfway decent. Cora catches a glimpse of something on his large back, a tattoo perhaps, but quickly moves to maintain eye contact just as he turns to face the woman. “What’s the situation?”

“Not good. The Pathfinder all but chewed the bridge out on protocol, and we’re going planetside in 30.”

“Greer, Kirkland, Fisher, you heard the lieutenant.”

Acknowledging, the other men immediately begin finalizing preparations. Almost abruptly, Seryna comes through the doors just behind Cora’s heels. She steps past, barely noticing the others.

“Good morning to you too.” Finn leans over the locker next to Seryna then looks around for a moment. “Where’s your brother?” The eldest Ryder meets Finn’s young and slightly weathered face. She makes a quick glance around of her own then mouths something he could not quite pick up. Cora steps partially between them.

“There were…complications in cryogenics. The power failure made it dangerous to thaw him. Lexi promises—”

“Thanks, Seryna.” With nothing more but a stern glance to Cora, and pat on Seryna’s shoulder, he steps past them both to finish getting ready. Cora starts to apologize but the timing becomes increasingly awkward with clearly Finn moving on to other tasks. There is a tug at the lieutenant’s sleeve. Seryna smiles up at her, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Don’t worry about it. He’s just—”

“I’m fine.” Cora’s abrupt side glance and words cut Seryna’s sympathy at the pass. She merely sighs, letting it go as Cora changes the topic and joins in getting ready.

“My brother’s going to hate that he missed this.”

“Are all the Ryders adrenaline junkies?”

“I guess it’s in our blood. Even though I beat him into the world by a minute, I feel like we are still competing neck and neck.”

“Well, don’t worry. I’m sure he will pull through.”

“When he does, he’s gonna want stories.”

“So let’s get out there and find him some.” Cora shuts the locker tight. “You’ll want to grab your helmet too, and maybe stop at the good luck rock before we go.”

“The what?”

The women’s side conversation catches Greer’s attention. “Didn’t take you for the superstitious sort, Lieutenant.”

“I’m not— I mean, it’s just something the pathfinder does—” she turns her attention back to Seryna. “It’s an old superstition of your dad’s. He was mountain climbing back on Earth. It caught him from falling. Way things are going today, we’ll need any luck we can get.”

Kirkland stands, fully armored and ready to go, and approaches Seryna holding out a hand.

“Hey Ryder.”

She shakes his hands as firmly as possible. “It’s Kirkland, right?”

“Yeah, I think we met just before the Hyperion left Earth. Not sure if you know Greer.” He points over the lockers, but Greer emerges on there side with an extended hand of his own.

“Hi, there. Your dad say anything about what’s going on?”

“Yeah, sensors are scrambled, so we are planetfall in thirty. With any luck, we’re on our way home.”

“Well, at least it keeps things interesting,” says Kirkland.

“Yeah, be a shame to go through all this training and not put it to good use.”

“See you guys on the ride down,” says Seryna, returning to getting ready. Kirkland and Greer step away, starting a rather casual conversation of their own. After a brief minute or two, the Simulated Adaptive Matrix voice comes over comms.

“The Pathfinder is now requiring sidearms. I’ve opened the armaments locker.”

Ryder hops to her feet slightly panicked and anxious. “We expecting trouble, SAM?”

“A precaution. Please arm yourself, Ryder.”

Fisher notices Finn checking and loading a customized M-96 Mattock assault rifle.

“He said sidearms. What kind of first contact you expecting, FC?”

“The worst kind.” Finn cocks the gun. “Wouldn’t be much of a First-Contact specialist if I wasn’t. Here’s hoping to being pleasantly surprised. Wrap it up and let’s get moving.”

Fish, Greer, and Kirkland grab several crates. Seryna waits near Cora as them file out passing Finn who stands by the door. Seryna balances the pistol in her palm. “Hope I won’t need this.” Cora looks at her with a soft smile.

“You never know.” They both look at the screens lining the interior indication several warning and ship-wide system errors. “So, just another boring day at the office, huh?”

“You know what they say, no plan is perfect. The most complicated voyage anyone’s ever attempted. Something’s bound to go wrong.”

“It’s a good test to see what we’re made of. I always wondered what it was like when explorers crossed the ocean. Nothing but stars and dead reckoning to guide them.”

“And a map that said, ‘here be dragons.’”

“Well, if they made it, we can too. And maybe see a dragon along the way.”

“Now that’ll make for a great story. Let’s keep an eye out.”          

“And our distance.” Cora chuckles then notices Kirkland, Greer, and Fisher had already gotten most of the equipment out and onto the tram. “Now let’s get to those shuttles.”

She lets Seryna go first, passing Finn who normally leads the rear. Cora takes moves but stops short as Finn grabs hold of her arm. She pivots slightly, only turning partially towards him. Seryna, curious, stops just on the other side of the locker room door but shoos Greer and the rest ahead.

“Not going to touch the lucky stone?”

“Going to make a joke about it too?”

Finn scoffs, though feels he partially deserved that, and let’s go over her arm. “I was just trying to say thanks, for uh, being there, you know? To fish me out cryo.”

Cora gradually turns to completely face him. “Well, the doctors said it helps to see a familiar face.”

“That so?” He puts his helmet on, modulating his voice. “Well, I appreciate you making it yours.” Hearing those words bring Cora a light sense of relief, although of what from, she did not know. Unfortunately, the sudden sound of Ryder’s helmet skating across the floor prevents her from exploring the notion further.

“Shoot,” says Seryna, nearly stumbling over in an attempt to quickly pick up the helmet in plain view of Finn and Cora. Finn takes the opportunity to slide pass Cora, visibly touching the rock in the process.

“Tighten it up ladies,” he says with a gentle nudge to the lieutenant and playful shimmy pass Seryna. Seryna mouths an apology to Cora while falling in line behind Finn.

2

Off the tram and well into the shuttle bay, Finn forges ahead, regrouping with Fisher and the rest, leaving Ryder and Cora behind a few paces behind.

“Doctor Carlyle,” begins Cora as she and Ryder approach one of the shuttles. With everything going on, I’d think the ark needs you more than we do?”

“Pathfinder wants a medic on hand. And if that is home down there, I’m happy to knock on the door.” His statement puts the listening Seryna at ease.

“Things could get rough with us not being sure what await on the other side of that door.” Cora and Carlyle nod in agreement to Seryna’s statement. The doctor gets up and walks alongside them. “But if it’s what we hope it is, this will be one for the history books. You got a quote ready? You know? ‘One small step…’”?

“I’m pretty sure your dad will handle that honor. I’m just there to patch people up and, if whatever’s done there has sharp teeth, yank’em out. I brought pliers.” Carlyle smirks and takes a dramatic bow, before taking up his kit and equipment then heading to the shuttle.

“All right, team, button it up. We leave in five,” says a confident, Alec Ryder from the entrance of the first shuttle. Cora takes a step front and center.

“Sir. We broke out the weapons as requested. Anything we should know about?”

“Seemed prudent, given the situation.” Alec eyes a well-armed Finn Evans who stand within earshot. “Evans, it would have been nice for you to have joined us on the bridge as requested. There’s things you ought to know; and, depending on how Habitat 7 pans out, you might be taking up the mettle as pathfinder.

“Yeah, and I might not.” Finn remains focused on securing weapons and gear. Alec gives a short sigh.

“We need to be on the same page. We’ll be shorthanded with my son out.” At the mentioning of the younger Ryder twin, both Alec and Cora glance over to Seryna. Her father steps from the shuttle and talks to her intimately. “I heard what happened. Your brother is strong. He will make it.”

“He wanted to make bets on who would be the first to hit the ground running. I didn’t imagine winning like this; but if I know him, he wouldn’t want us to worry because of him.”

“He will want to go double or nothing on who climbs the tallest mountain once he’s able, and you’re right. The mission comes first. Though I doubt your mother would’ve seen it that way. I promised her I’d get you two here safely. She would be proud. Of both you.” Alec steps back onto the shuttle and requests everyone’s attention. “Okay, team. Listen up. I chose each of you for the Pathfinder team, not just because you’re talented and passionate. But because you’re dreamers, like me. We dream of exploring the unknown, of finding the edge of the map–and then discovering what lies beyond. When people look back on this— and they will— they’ll remember we didn’t give up. We kept dreaming. That our first, few faltering steps in Andromeda were the beginning of everything they know. We only get one chance to be first. So let’s go make history.”

Greer nudges Finn in the arm. “That reason you were looking for? There’s answer right there.”

Shuttle two pulls alongside the first and opens its side door. “Been waiting 600 years for this,” says an inspired Liam clapping Seryna lightly in the arm. He motions for her to come aboard. Cora follows on Alec’s heels into the first shuttle along with Carlyle, Hayes, and Finn. “You ready for this?” Cora asks with an open hand to help pull Finn aboard.

“You bet.”

Alec’s voice breaks over comms. “Ark Hyperion, this is Shuttle One, switching to manual guidance.”

“Shuttle Two, taking your lead,” says Kirkland.

“Good luck, Pathfinder team,” says Captain Dunn.

END

Mass Effect 3: A Moment of Reconciliation

Feeling an overwhelming emotional numbness, Shepard awakes from the nightmare to find himself back in his cabin, unharmed. Dr. T’Soni lies next to him, her bare body snug within the blanket. Unable to return to sleep, Shepard sits up, gazing around the silent room. After a moment or two, T’Soni stirs and slowly awakens. In the dark, she makes out his profile and watches intently, wondering what could possibly be on his mind.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry,” says Shepard. Liara draws closer to him, shaking her head “no,” to lay rest any worries. Her beautiful cerulean gaze always flustered him and continues to do so well after all the time they had spent together. She brushes against his arm.

“You look troubled, is something bothering you, Shepard?” she asks.

“Besides the world coming to end and everything being on fire?” Liara dismisses the sly sarcasm and merely threads her fingers within his.

“Something is always on fire in your world, Shepard. What’s really going on?” There was no doubting, from either of them, she could sense the presence of an extra layer to his mood. She melded their minds together several times during their fight against Saren. Her efforts awarded the asari a deeper understanding of not just his mind, but of his psyche as well.

“A kid on Earth,” Shepard begins. “I watched the evacuation shuttle get torn to shreds. It was among several at the time, but the kid still haunts my dreams. It’s like living the visions from the beacon when I wake and when I sleep. I’ve let so many down already; so many dead-, “

“Their blood is not on your hands,” says Liara, laying a gentle hand on his chest. “We know the odds better than anyone; losses were always a guarantee- “

“I don’t know how you can say that so plainly.”

“That is not what I meant-” Shepard’s abrupt movement gave her pause. She watches him leave the bed to pace in the dark. “You know that’s not what I mean. You’ve done everything and more than anyone could ask of one person.”

“And it’s still not enough.” Shepard’s voice is low and musing. “Jenkins, Williams, Presley, Samara’s daughters; the prices are too high. Even now, so many lie on their death beds.”

“Everyone knows the risks. Shepard, this fight isn’t just yours; we are all behind you completely. We’ve made sacrifices to give you a fighting chance.”

“Yeah, but why me? Have I really been worth it? Am I really the galaxy’s best hope?”

“Of course, Shepard. I— the galaxy would never rally behind you if we did not believe in you.” Liara had to admit, she was failing to see where this would all lead. He was not sounding like the man she knew. Although natural for humans, the doubt seems unnatural coming from Commander Shepard. She watches him waiting for a reaction. The commander leans over the desk, bracing against it firmly with both hands.

“The thought of losing everything again; I don’t think I can take it. The crew, the first Normandy, hell especially you,” his words finally break the momentarily silence ailing the cabin.

“Shepard, you have not lost me. I am right here,” assures Liara. She sits upright in the bed clinging to the blankets they shared intimately just moments prior.

“Haven’t even I?” he says.

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s nothing.” His answer comes swift and abruptly.

“I don’t like when you do that, Michael. I know you… if something is on your mind, please, tell me.”

“The price for my survival,” leads the commander, “always comes at the sacrifice of others. Mindoir, victory against Saren and Sovereign, stopping the Collectors, even returning from the dead. When I first saw you on Illium, I was so happy, but you were so distant. You didn’t even look at me the same.”

“That’s not fair, Shepard, you died!”

“And I came back!”

“How was I supposed to know it was the real you? You ordered me to evacuate the first Normandy. I sat in the escape pod with the others, slowly feeling your life force, your presence be violently extinguished. Even before we were rescued and Joker confirmed it, I knew that you were gone. Despite recovering your body, I felt broken and helpless. During those two years, I found strength in it. Seeing you again reminded me of everything, and I could not just go back to-, “

“Well by all means Shadow Broker, if I’m holding you back-, ”

“This isn’t right!” Hurt, sorrow, and anguish rolls off Liara’s tongue. In the dark, Shepard could feel the shift in her body language. “I cannot tell what’s on your mind, but I know that I do not want this to be how we spend what could be our last moments together.”

On that, they agree. She reaches out for him in the dimly lit room. Shepard moves from the desk, letting her grab hold of his wrist. With it, Liara pulls him down on top of her, wrapping him affectionately within her own limbs. Tears stream down her face as she clings to his body.

 “You are an amazing man of will and drive, Shepard. It is easy for one to forget themselves in you.” The blue alien arm cling to him tenderly. “When you were gone, I felt more hopeless than ever. Still, I knew I had to keep going. I had to do something to continue your fight, but in all that fuss, chasing the Shadow Broker, getting to where I was, I could not forget you. I could not let go.” She nestles her face against his strong shoulders. “Everything I accomplished was because of you, not in spite of you; but you came back, and when I saw you, I wasn’t sure you would like the Liara I was then… who I am now. I was afraid, Shepard.”

The commander shifts to meet her stare, his emerald irises reflecting in the cerulean hue of her eyes. She leans her forehead into his.

“I gave what remained of you to the first person who said they could bring you back; knowing everything would be different, for better or worse. I couldn’t fathom the rest of my life without you and yet, I let you go into a suicide mission alone.”

“I did survive you know.” Shepard interjects softly. Liara chuckles.

“I felt so guilty, letting you go in alone like that.”

“You gave me something to come back to, remember?”

“Did I? It was over six months before I saw you again, and-” she rebuttals.

“You still looked at me different?” says Shepard, filling in the blanks out loud. Liara gives a short nod of confirmation.

“When you put your mission with Cerberus aside to help me; I was so focused on the task. I should’ve known then that you were the man I wanted and always would be. Can you ever forgive me, Shepard? Will you take me as I am, Michael?”

“Dr. T’soni, you talk too much.” He replies with a playful smirk.

“I believe it is you who does not talk enough,” she says, rolling him onto his back. The blankets drop to her hips, exposing her mature blue figure as she climbs on top of him. “If you’ll have me again, I’d like to stay by your side this time, until the very end.” Her hands brace against his chest with her eyes turning a deep black.

“When I awoke earlier, I wished I had died in my sleep. I wanted my last moment to be here, next to you. I wanted to give up, to be done with this war, all this loss,” he says, longingly looking into her eyes.

Liara’s lips meet Shepard’s. A tear runs down her cheek and onto his face. “I would not have complained, so long as you took me with you; but this fight needs us, needs you,” she says, pulling back slowly with a short gasp under his embrace.

“Guess I’ll have to make this one count.”

 “There will be more,” the doctor says gradually collapsing into his body, “Should you come back.”

“Then, it’s a date.”

END