Feeling an overwhelming emotional numbness, Shepard awakes from the nightmare to find himself back in his cabin, unharmed. Dr. T’Soni lies next to him, her bare body snug within the blanket. Unable to return to sleep, Shepard sits up, gazing around the silent room. After a moment or two, T’Soni stirs and slowly awakens. In the dark, she makes out his profile and watches intently, wondering what could possibly be on his mind.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry,” says Shepard. Liara draws closer to him, shaking her head “no,” to lay rest any worries. Her beautiful cerulean gaze always flustered him and continues to do so well after all the time they had spent together. She brushes against his arm.

“You look troubled, is something bothering you, Shepard?” she asks.

“Besides the world coming to end and everything being on fire?” Liara dismisses the sly sarcasm and merely threads her fingers within his.

“Something is always on fire in your world, Shepard. What’s really going on?” There was no doubting, from either of them, she could sense the presence of an extra layer to his mood. She melded their minds together several times during their fight against Saren. Her efforts awarded the asari a deeper understanding of not just his mind, but of his psyche as well.

“A kid on Earth,” Shepard begins. “I watched the evacuation shuttle get torn to shreds. It was among several at the time, but the kid still haunts my dreams. It’s like living the visions from the beacon when I wake and when I sleep. I’ve let so many down already; so many dead-, “

“Their blood is not on your hands,” says Liara, laying a gentle hand on his chest. “We know the odds better than anyone; losses were always a guarantee- “

“I don’t know how you can say that so plainly.”

“That is not what I meant-” Shepard’s abrupt movement gave her pause. She watches him leave the bed to pace in the dark. “You know that’s not what I mean. You’ve done everything and more than anyone could ask of one person.”

“And it’s still not enough.” Shepard’s voice is low and musing. “Jenkins, Williams, Presley, Samara’s daughters; the prices are too high. Even now, so many lie on their death beds.”

“Everyone knows the risks. Shepard, this fight isn’t just yours; we are all behind you completely. We’ve made sacrifices to give you a fighting chance.”

“Yeah, but why me? Have I really been worth it? Am I really the galaxy’s best hope?”

“Of course, Shepard. I— the galaxy would never rally behind you if we did not believe in you.” Liara had to admit, she was failing to see where this would all lead. He was not sounding like the man she knew. Although natural for humans, the doubt seems unnatural coming from Commander Shepard. She watches him waiting for a reaction. The commander leans over the desk, bracing against it firmly with both hands.

“The thought of losing everything again; I don’t think I can take it. The crew, the first Normandy, hell especially you,” his words finally break the momentarily silence ailing the cabin.

“Shepard, you have not lost me. I am right here,” assures Liara. She sits upright in the bed clinging to the blankets they shared intimately just moments prior.

“Haven’t even I?” he says.

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s nothing.” His answer comes swift and abruptly.

“I don’t like when you do that, Michael. I know you… if something is on your mind, please, tell me.”

“The price for my survival,” leads the commander, “always comes at the sacrifice of others. Mindoir, victory against Saren and Sovereign, stopping the Collectors, even returning from the dead. When I first saw you on Illium, I was so happy, but you were so distant. You didn’t even look at me the same.”

“That’s not fair, Shepard, you died!”

“And I came back!”

“How was I supposed to know it was the real you? You ordered me to evacuate the first Normandy. I sat in the escape pod with the others, slowly feeling your life force, your presence be violently extinguished. Even before we were rescued and Joker confirmed it, I knew that you were gone. Despite recovering your body, I felt broken and helpless. During those two years, I found strength in it. Seeing you again reminded me of everything, and I could not just go back to-, “

“Well by all means Shadow Broker, if I’m holding you back-, ”

“This isn’t right!” Hurt, sorrow, and anguish rolls off Liara’s tongue. In the dark, Shepard could feel the shift in her body language. “I cannot tell what’s on your mind, but I know that I do not want this to be how we spend what could be our last moments together.”

On that, they agree. She reaches out for him in the dimly lit room. Shepard moves from the desk, letting her grab hold of his wrist. With it, Liara pulls him down on top of her, wrapping him affectionately within her own limbs. Tears stream down her face as she clings to his body.

 “You are an amazing man of will and drive, Shepard. It is easy for one to forget themselves in you.” The blue alien arm cling to him tenderly. “When you were gone, I felt more hopeless than ever. Still, I knew I had to keep going. I had to do something to continue your fight, but in all that fuss, chasing the Shadow Broker, getting to where I was, I could not forget you. I could not let go.” She nestles her face against his strong shoulders. “Everything I accomplished was because of you, not in spite of you; but you came back, and when I saw you, I wasn’t sure you would like the Liara I was then… who I am now. I was afraid, Shepard.”

The commander shifts to meet her stare, his emerald irises reflecting in the cerulean hue of her eyes. She leans her forehead into his.

“I gave what remained of you to the first person who said they could bring you back; knowing everything would be different, for better or worse. I couldn’t fathom the rest of my life without you and yet, I let you go into a suicide mission alone.”

“I did survive you know.” Shepard interjects softly. Liara chuckles.

“I felt so guilty, letting you go in alone like that.”

“You gave me something to come back to, remember?”

“Did I? It was over six months before I saw you again, and-” she rebuttals.

“You still looked at me different?” says Shepard, filling in the blanks out loud. Liara gives a short nod of confirmation.

“When you put your mission with Cerberus aside to help me; I was so focused on the task. I should’ve known then that you were the man I wanted and always would be. Can you ever forgive me, Shepard? Will you take me as I am, Michael?”

“Dr. T’soni, you talk too much.” He replies with a playful smirk.

“I believe it is you who does not talk enough,” she says, rolling him onto his back. The blankets drop to her hips, exposing her mature blue figure as she climbs on top of him. “If you’ll have me again, I’d like to stay by your side this time, until the very end.” Her hands brace against his chest with her eyes turning a deep black.

“When I awoke earlier, I wished I had died in my sleep. I wanted my last moment to be here, next to you. I wanted to give up, to be done with this war, all this loss,” he says, longingly looking into her eyes.

Liara’s lips meet Shepard’s. A tear runs down her cheek and onto his face. “I would not have complained, so long as you took me with you; but this fight needs us, needs you,” she says, pulling back slowly with a short gasp under his embrace.

“Guess I’ll have to make this one count.”

 “There will be more,” the doctor says gradually collapsing into his body, “Should you come back.”

“Then, it’s a date.”

END